The annual seminar of the engineers’ association was organized this time as well. It had a stated subject as was customary. Perhaps there was an unstated purpose to it, which left one guessing till the end. Otherwise, there was no plausible explanation why electrical engineers working in the government should select HVAC (Heating Ventilation and Air Conditioning) as this year’s topic.
As invitees sat through the daylong deliberations, they too kept on wondering. But they did not have any inkling as to what would transpire at the end.
To set the ball rolling towards its desired end six papers were short listed to be shared among five speakers. Four of these papers were of 30 minutes duration each while the remaining two were each of 45 minutes.
The main speaker of the show, a professor, split up his lecture into two parts of 45 minutes and 30 minutes. He was an expert speaker by virtue of his profession and therefore extracted the total time of one hour fifteen minutes. Another expert, a consultant in the field, was equally assertive. He could extract 45 minutes from the organizers.
The remaining three speakers were compelled to manage their briefs with 30-minute slots each.
One’s experience with such general type seminars has been that whatever be the subject, the speakers tend to bend it to suit their ends. In one such seminar recently, it was found that a very distinguished speaker, an able administrator and chairman of a large undertaking, was found talking about the detrimental fallout of globalization at length, while the purported topic was management of turnkey contracts.
It was therefore not surprising to find the respected professor start his deliberations in a manner of addressing his students in a typical classroom of the university. He perhaps didn’t pay any heed to the fact that the subject of discussion was “Management of HVAC projects in public works” and went on explaining how to calculate the heat load of premises by consulting charts and tables. His assistant who flashed charts, formulae and figures with the help of a lap top computer and LCD projector, ably supported him from the sidelines.
Words such as entropy, enthalpy, psychometric charts, dry and wet bulb temperatures, chlorofluromethane etc. rent the air of the seminar hall in course of the professor’s presentation in two monolithic sessions consecutively. The hapless listeners were left in no doubt as to what was on. Most of them were practicing electrical engineers with expectations galore as to applicability of modern project management tools in the realm of executing HVAC projects.
Alas, their expectations remained a distant dream.
Since government employees organized the event it was but natural that the departmental ministers would be invited. MOS (Minister of State) appeared a little after inauguration of the seminar by a luminary from the legal profession.
MIC (Minister in charge) joined him later. Both of them were requested to address the gathering, which they readily agreed to do. Both spoke briefly eulogizing the role of electrical engineers in public works. MIC exhorted the departmental engineers to devise air conditioners for the common man.
The audience greeted them with the statutory applause befitting their status. Honorable ministers realized when they had reached the zenith of their ovation and left the hall precisely at that moment. Every one stood up in reverence and bid them adieu with another round of clapping.
After finishing his bout of lecture, the professor was standing by for the question answer session that would come later. Meanwhile the other speakers delivered their lectures with aplomb and due diligence.
Only one of them, the consultant, was allotted 45 minutes. He could comfortably cruise through his part, which dealt with selection of equipment. He also scuttled the issue of project management.
The remaining three speakers, each of whom had 30 minutes in their kitty some how squeezed through. They were also miles away from the declared subject matter.
This was nothing unusual. In such type of seminars, which were held once a year during springtime, talks were meant for talks only. People were used to be tormented with such gibberish year in and year out. What really mattered was not the content of the paper presented but who presented it. So long as the speakers were glamorous nothing else mattered.
Each piece of the jigsaw was falling into place perfectly till a young member from the audience, who was a fresh engineer from the university and a brilliant student decided to play the spoilsport.
The honorable ministers had left the rostrum long before the technical sessions began. In between the two technical sessions was the lunchtime. Sumptuous food filled up the gaping holes and fissures left behind by the previous speakers. Participants were immensely pleased with the food and that showed in their faces. Some of them would now attempt to steal out of the hall. Some would doze off whatever still remained of the lazy afternoon hours.
After the technical sessions came to a close, the question answer session finally arrived. It would have been perhaps better had it not arrived at all.
A senior member was the first to question a speaker on ozone layer depletion by chlorofluorocarbons vis-à-vis global warming. This was a trendy topic. The concerned speaker quenched the questioner’s thirst for knowledge.
Next in line was a young speaker, who was heckled by a questioner regarding the price of reciprocal versus centrifugal compressors. The young man had bungled up the cost aspect in course of the lecture. He apologized.
Then came our young engineer friend who had studied under the same professor referred to in the earlier part of the story. The young man came to the podium quite unwillingly, or so it did seem. Then he apologized to every one for he wanted to ask a question, which might seem silly to the audience. This was the first time that he attended this annual event for he was new to the service.
All the members exhorted him to ask his question. Knowledge was a great leveler. He might be new to the flock. So what?
The young man then hesitatingly asked the professor:
“Sir, you lectured us today on heat load calculations and not on management of air conditioning projects, which was the declared subject. I wanted to ask you the reason for that.”
He said so much and left the rostrum as quietly as he had come.
The professor almost scurried on to the stage in his characteristic manner. With a sheaf of papers on his hand the professor declared without any sense of remorse ringing in his voice:
“Sorry folks. I made a serious mistake. The papers meant for my presentation at some other place tomorrow was swapped with today’s ones.”
The End